First Touch

The long wait is finally over and now, I can hold her as long as I’m alive. It was on my second day in the hospital that I was able to visit my baby in the nursery room. As I watched her from the window, my heart beats faster. I really don’t know how I feel.  I’m not sure if it was nervous or full of happiness but for the very first time I will be able to hold her in just a few seconds. I was not able to hold my tears as I’m changing my clothes in the changing room. My long wait is finally over is the only thing that keeps repeating in my mind. As I come near her, the nurse hold her up and need to wash her cause’ she pooped this just breaks my momentum (hahahaha). And so, I helped the nurse getting her ready for her first breastmilk. As I hold her small fragile body, I was like the happiest person on earth. I think that’s a normal feeling for a mother who touches her little angel for the first time. My finger runs through her little cute hands and let it touch my skin and checked her toes her finger nails and her soft, soft face. I can’t barely see her right through her eyes as I’m ashamed that someone might caught me crying while staring my baby.  I can still recall the feeling and so I say the unforgettable feeling actually the unexplainable feeling with her finally in my own hands.

Me and my baby in silhouette, sort of (smile).