Monday, December 3, 2012

What is too much?

Have you tried that you were caught in the middle? You can't do this because it's too much and the other one is not enough. But how to define that it's too much already or if it's not enough? What is too much and what is not enough?

You loved a person for years but only then after those years, after tying the knot it is only then that you we're told that it's too much. What does it mean? if it's too much then I also believe to cut it all down, but you were afraid to do so because you believe that that's the way married people should do. Submitting to one another and making their priority. Money is not the one who holds the family, but the relationship inside it. The communication of both man and woman and more importantly the understanding towards each other. But how can you understand if you're hurt? you we're trapped in the "I shouldn't have done that" part. And then he or she'll tell you he need space. How should you deal with it? The more you'll ask the world why now? If only, the "what is too much" thing is defined earlier then we shouldn't have been caught in the middle.

I'm sad and happy. I'm sad that in reality there are knots and promises broken to pisces. If only I could do something about it. I always loved happy endings and never thought of broken pisces. But sometimes it's your fate telling you to STOP. I'm happy because yes, there are good reasons why it happened. I'm happy because I can now see that he has moved on and is ready and willing to face life again.

I love you kya... we will support you all the way 'till death we're always here. You're not alone, you may feel alone at times but no, you're not. maybe our time hasn't come yet and if it does, we know that we have a strong shoulder to lean on (hehehehe mao d.i gipa strong ka para naa mi ma rely-yan toinks!).

And I'm proud of you, because I never thought that you'll get over it as soon as now. I know you loved her dearly, you loved her with all your life that nothing's been left for you. But you did it! thanks for opening it up to us your family. atleast now, we can celebrate christmas together as a whole and family again. we understand that the hurt keeps comming back but don't worry, it'll fade as time goes  by.


See? as per her, if only you could go back together again, her loss not yours (tiwasan pajud?) I didn't know about the divorce papers thanks for sharing it. So it's final. And also, one thing's for sure, she's still our friend.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Constant Change

It’s already twelve midnight and still I can’t sleep. My baby is very asleep already and she’s so lovely. I miss her already, she’s growing so fast. It’s hard to believe that she’s already halfway to her first year of life outside my womb. Got so many photos of her but still I wish to go back and document her every move, every cry, her every improvements. My photos of her seemed not enough even if I’m taking her photo every day. It’s all true what adults said, cherish every moment, every beat of her heart, every second because you will never see that again. The only constant in this world is change. Look at her always and hold her tenderly. I love her especially the way she trusts herself to me and I will never let her down. I can now feel like a real mother as she grows up. I’m one of the luckiest mom to had the opportunity to take care of my baby personally. I will continue to work in due time and I’ll never regret quitting my work even if I’ll be babysitting until the last day of my life. Thanks to my hubby too for supporting my decision.  This will never happen without his support.

Love you big girl.... :)

Monday, November 26, 2012

Everyday!

Early in the morning all my TO DO things are already lined up. First, ready all baby Rye’s things including clothes for the whole day. Then walk her outside for sunlight, afterwards she usually sleep then after an hour will wake up and is ready for bath. But before taking a bath, I let her eat rice since starting today she’ll have to eat twice a day already. And so, eat at nine in the morning then take a bath. After taking a bath I usually put her in her walker, it’s her playing time and learning time, I read her baby books, about toys, colours and shapes. Then it’s time for her sleep again, this will took a minimum of one hour. When she wakes up, playing time again but this time with her Uncle Jan or Granda Mamo. It’s time for mommy’s rest or shall I say, time for  me to wash baby bottles and sterilize them, then ready her milk for the next twenty four hours and lastly, mommy’s brunch (breakfast and lunch). By the time mommy’s done with all those things, baby is now ready to sleep again in her afternoon nap. She only sleeps with mommy or grandma mamo and will wake up if she notices that no one’s beside her or no one’s cuddling her legs. Yes, she likes it while sleeping but can be stopped when she’s already in her deep sleep.  She wakes up at around three or four o’clock. By this time upon waking up, it’s her time to eat her dinner (solid food for the second time).  After eating, I’ll walk her outside to see children playing and dog’s barking (hahaha). She’s excited and laughed out loud upon seeing children playing as if she’s one of those who are playing. Actually, she loves outside, she can see the fishes in the pond, the flowers, the moving green-yellow leaves and she just loved it. At five thirty it’s her time to bath and getting her ready to sleep. She normally sleeps at six in the afternoon and wakes up at four in the morning but if saw me still sleeping she goes back to sleep and will really wakes up at five thirty in the morning because it’s her poop time and I’ve got no choice. Good morning again CEBU! Good morning daddy!

studying time!

Baby's early nap after her walk.
                                                  A pose before sleeping.

Good night everyone.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

6 Months

I started a tiring day since I had asthma for the night, wasn’t able to sleep until my princess woke up for her 6th months birthday. Had so many plans for the day unfortunately, as early as seven in the morning, we had the lights in our living room fixed at around eleven, my doctor called me for my last shot of HEP B. In short, all my plans for the day remained as a plan. But, I’m still so glad because we’re already halfway through our one year old. I’m planning to bake her a cake for the last minute fortunately, grandma bought us a “Choco-orange cake”. Thank you grandma, sooner when I grow up I will be the one to buy you the grandest cake and thank you for the early greetings daddy.

WE LOVE YOU DADDY.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

BRAVE

I never liked a movie ever since, but this one moved me. It shows the great love of a mother to her loved ones, not just her husband or daughter but to all of them. It’s like a mirror in our lives. For once in our lives we’re like Merida the princess who if we wanted something will do what we think is right and not thinking for the consequences and our mom’s the queen, the ever understanding person in the whole world. Being a mom, even on the day that she found out that she was having a baby is already a very brave act. It’s not easy to go a doctor and waited and waited for your turn, and the more when the day comes that you’ll be lying in bed alone and trying to deliver the baby safely. We didn’t know what may happen but we keep on believing that everything’s will be fine and the “courage” as well. Our bravery doesn’t stop after delivery, actually it’s just the grand beginning of everything. Yes, this is really true, it’s now 2:45 AM and here I am still up to change my baby’s diaper and for her milk too. Nothing compares the happiness that she has brought us and nothing compares a mother’s love.

Sharing to you a lovely scene with me and my baby. This happens every night until she goes to a deep sleep. No matter how tired I am, I see to it to read her a story and this is my happiness sharing my life with her and to my family. I miss my hubby much.

A sweet nap for me everyone. Two more hours to go or less and she's already awake. :)



Eating 101

At her last day of being five months old, we introduced her to food, real food. We never thought that she will like it. And to our surprise she already knew how to take in the food and even taste it. Early morning my mom bought her foods and I prepared it myself (excited mom too). As I was preparing the food, everybody is busy watching me also. well, everybody in the house is looking forward to this momentous celebration as our baby eats her first food. We let her taste different flavors just to get her reaction but we know that we should let her eat foods one by one for days. First, we gave her the pureed rice with a little bit of salt and she liked it. Next is the ripe mango and she loved it. We also let her taste the grapes, unfortunately, she didn’t like it and so with the pineapple, she simply spit it (hahahaha). I think we’re more excited for her than her. So many foods to choose from and can’t wait to give it to her.